Happy New Year!!

2011-A picture a day

Wow 2011 already! It took long enough! But I am so glad it is here. This year will finally bring my husband and I cant wait for that day. Ok lets see, new years resolutions? Well Ive never been one to really make any since I usually dont follow them...but this is how I would like 2011 to be. I want to laugh more and be angry a whole lot less. I want to start living and not just watching the days pass by. I want to develope a stronger relationship with God and live my life the way he wants me to. I am fully ready to walk with him and that is whats going to make this year FABULOUS! and although no one reads this blog, i would like to try to write in it a whole lot more. Therapeutic I guess lol Well I hope this month flies and the rest of the year drags since our family will finally be whole =)

There's no place like home for the Holidays

I would like to start off my saying that I would rather not travel on an airplane with a 1 year old ever again! Man was that a stressful experience. On a plane at 6am most people want to sleep. But not Cheyenne! She wanted to whine and move around and scream and annoy everyone around us. Can you say embarrassing?  I finally got her to sleep for about 25 minutes then tried to stuff every crumb of food I could find into her mouth so she would stay quiet. Our 2nd flight wasnt bad and the 3 of us actually slept for a little but. Well the girls did anyway. I get kinda weirded out sleeping on a plane. I never know if im drooling or my mouth is open and people are starring at me. Its kinda creepy. But anyways, Im in NM!! I miss home but I might as well make the best out of it and hopefully time will pass quickly then its back home to get things ready for Tom to come home. Cant wait!!

And  also...Cheyenne is 1!!! My baby girl is growing so fast!!  and she looooves cake =)

Sounds nice doesnt it? Maybe a little catchy? Badass? Easy job? Well, sorry to say but its far from it. Right now I dont feel very badass and its no where close to being easy. I do understand that I when I said my vows to the man I love, I not only became HIS wife, I became an Infantry Wife. I vowed to stay true to him in good times and in bad, through deployment and in Garrison, in sickness and in health, in civis or ACUs. The vows we take when we marry a soldier entail a little more then those of a "normal" marriage. So sittin here, in the 9th month of deployment, I sometimes need to take a step back breathe a little and reassure myself that I am strong enough to be an Infantry Wife. I am strong enough to be HIS wife. The wife of a U.S soldier. Im trying to figure out this love/hate relationship I am developing with my phone. The never ending waiting for it to ring and it be him, and then when it is, the worry of where out conversation might lead due our stress and anxiety brought on by our seperation.  The excitement I feel when I hear "a couple" more months left out loud, but then the anger I feel when it seems so much longer when I break it down into weeks or days. The worrying about the whole readjustment process. Will all this stress go away once he is back? Will it automatically go back to normal? This is all so tiring just thinking about it. My love for that man gets me through all of this every second of every day. I will be the best wife I can be during all of this and when he returns. I am married to a soldier, I am an Infantry Wife.

I am the wife of an American Soldier.

I am a supporter of the United States Army - an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth.

Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears, I will always act in ways creditable to him, the military service and the nation he is sworn to guard.

I am proud of my husband.

I will do all that I can to protect and provide for my family in his absence.

I will be loyal to my husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage.

I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart for our family and I will continue to instruct our children in the same manner.

As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored profession - that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom for which my country stands.

No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything, for pleasure, profit, or personal safety, which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country.

I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier that he can be.

I am proud of my husband, my country and its flag.

I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country.

I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens,

For I am the wife of an American soldier.

Random Wednesday

1. Are you a night owl or an early bird?
I think Ill have to go with night owl. Although it drives me completely insane. I hate night time. I always do my best sleeping once it gets light outside. Scared I guess haha. Hopefully that changes soon.

2. What makes you jealous?

Jealous? hmm....where do I start. I tend to be a jealous person for a lot of reasons. Although I keep telling myself there is no reason to be.

3. Have you started Christmas/holiday shopping yet?
Um...no. I hate shopping. Especially around the holidays. So I may just skip that part this year haha

4. What would you have a personal chef make you tonight?

Right now I could definitely go for some green chili enchiladas. But sadly, no green chili in this joint! Boo! Come on white folk...grow the good stuff hehe

5. Where was your first kiss with your husband?

Good one! Well, it was actually right outside of our room at the Winners Cirlce Motel right across from Ft Campbell. We were drinking (of course, we used to do that a lot) and I stepped outside for a secnd cuz it was kinda hot in there and he decided to follow me. I think he had it all planned out. It was cute, romantic =) I digged it. (although he will probably tell the story a little differently)

My long lost friend

I have tried to avoid you this entire deployment, but I have failed! I am on day 2 of trying out the wonderful tylenol pm so I can attempt to fall asleep before 2am. Day 1, took 2 capsules, started getting drowsy, the husband calls haha. Lets just say I dont remember a whole lot of that conversation. oops. But this time I take it at the end of our conversation so when we are finished I will be ready to go to lala land. Um...not working. Here I am blogging. Its been a long while since Ive done this. I should do it more often. Its um...therapeutic? I guess if I clear my mind of all thoughts in this blogging ordeal then maybe I will have less to think about when Im trying to sleep. Oh how I miss sleep so much. 2ish more months then I will OWN sleep again. It will be amazing. But in the mean time all I can do is DAY dream about it since I dont sleep to actually dream about it. haha ok Im done! Goodnight moon

Military vs. Civilian

You complain that your boyfriend/ husband has worked late all week and have barely seen him.

*I look forward to the two weeks a year we spend together.

You complain because he doesn't call you enough.

*My heart is thankful for the 15 second phone call I got last Tuesday in the middle of the night!

You whine to you friends about how much you miss him already because he is on a two day trip with his parents.

*I haven't seen him for 7 months now

You don't feel like making love tonight because you are too tired.

*We will stay up all night because we don't know when it will be the last time.

Your boyfriend/husband belongs to you.

*Mine belongs to the government.

Your boyfriend/husband is training for his game next weekend.

*My boyfriend/husband is trained to kill. (and we find that romantic!)

It's just not practical for you to drive an hour to see him every weekend during school.

*He spends $700 dollars on a plane ticket just to see me 2 days!

You hate hanging up the phone when talking to him.

*My heart breaks because I won't talk to him for another 10 days.

You complain that he doesn't take enough time out of his life for you.

*My man has to get up in the middle of the night to talk with me because of the time difference. He doesn't complain.

Your man is in a bad mood from not sleeping much this week.

*My man ran 10 miles this morning at 4 in the morning and has a full day of work ahead of him. He's lucky if he gets a few hours of sleep!

Your boyfriend/husband can call in sick when he is tired or not feeling well.

*My man works no matter what!!

You don't trust him so you follow him places to see if he is telling the truth.

*I have no choice but to trust him and even then I trust him with my life.

You don't like him talking so sexually with his friends.

*My boyfriend/husband has to chant it in drills.

You check your phone, see you missed a call from him, and decide to call him back when you aren't so busy.

*I see a missed a call and cry, because I don't know when he can call again.

You might save a cute voice message from him.

*I save them all b/c it helps me to remember what his voice sounds like.

Being apart for a month to you seems daunting.

*A month apart for me is a wish that can't come true.

You wouldn't change schools to be close to him.

*I have to move to another country to be with him.

You have every part of him memorized.

*I study pictures so I don't forget what he looks like.

You take your time together for granted.

*We don't!!

Your cell phone bill was high this month from talking too much.

*He pays 20 cents a minute to call me..when he CAN call.

You love that fancy necklace he bought you/

*I refuse to take his dog tags off, and not a day goes by that I dont have them on...

You say you miss him.

*Times that by 20!

I really wish people would understand how hard it is for us girls who love someone in the military. You can't even begin to understand how much it hurts to be away from someone you love. To worry if he's eaten, slept..if he's sick, injured or worse...You also can't understand how amazing it feels to finally be with them. Every meeting feels like the first! And for all those girls out there thinking, "Well it was his choice to join." You are right, it was. But at least he had the balls to join!! And it's guys like him that keep us free and safe while we're at war. It might have been his choice to give up staying at home with the ones he loves, but it's that choice that makes him our hero and gives you the freedom of speech... He is America's hero! So, maybe now, you won't take your time with your man for granted, maybe you'll understand a little more how good you have it, because AT LEAST he is safe and in your arms.

Blah

R&R came and went way to fast. The wedding went great and our time together was amazing. I am missing him so much and its only been 2 weeks since he left again. I think during the 2 weeks he was here we found a whole new view on love. We confirmed nothing will ever come between and we are FOREVER. It hurt so much more this time around. And Cheyenne loves her daddy so much!! <3 Well right we are in the process of trying to find a house. Im needing to move nack to Clarksville now more then ever. I need to be around people who know whats going on. Who understand the situation I am in and just listen when I have to vent instead of criticize and judge me when I have something to say. I just need to feel some type of support. And right now I feel the only place I can get that is from my husband or other army wives. So my next journey will start soon. Back to living my own life with my girls and preparing for his return. Even if its not for 7 more months. I count down the days until we are complete again. My heart is missing and it hurts. But I will stay strong for him. I promise =)