Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My long lost friend


I have tried to avoid you this entire deployment, but I have failed! I am on day 2 of trying out the wonderful tylenol pm so I can attempt to fall asleep before 2am. Day 1, took 2 capsules, started getting drowsy, the husband calls haha. Lets just say I dont remember a whole lot of that conversation. oops. But this time I take it at the end of our conversation so when we are finished I will be ready to go to lala land. Um...not working. Here I am blogging. Its been a long while since Ive done this. I should do it more often. Its um...therapeutic? I guess if I clear my mind of all thoughts in this blogging ordeal then maybe I will have less to think about when Im trying to sleep. Oh how I miss sleep so much. 2ish more months then I will OWN sleep again. It will be amazing. But in the mean time all I can do is DAY dream about it since I dont sleep to actually dream about it. haha ok Im done! Goodnight moon

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Military vs. Civilian

You complain that your boyfriend/ husband has worked late all week and have barely seen him.


*I look forward to the two weeks a year we spend together.

You complain because he doesn't call you enough.

*My heart is thankful for the 15 second phone call I got last Tuesday in the middle of the night!

You whine to you friends about how much you miss him already because he is on a two day trip with his parents.

*I haven't seen him for 7 months now

You don't feel like making love tonight because you are too tired.

*We will stay up all night because we don't know when it will be the last time.

Your boyfriend/husband belongs to you.

*Mine belongs to the government.

Your boyfriend/husband is training for his game next weekend.

*My boyfriend/husband is trained to kill. (and we find that romantic!)

It's just not practical for you to drive an hour to see him every weekend during school.

*He spends $700 dollars on a plane ticket just to see me 2 days!

You hate hanging up the phone when talking to him.

*My heart breaks because I won't talk to him for another 10 days.

You complain that he doesn't take enough time out of his life for you.

*My man has to get up in the middle of the night to talk with me because of the time difference. He doesn't complain.

Your man is in a bad mood from not sleeping much this week.

*My man ran 10 miles this morning at 4 in the morning and has a full day of work ahead of him. He's lucky if he gets a few hours of sleep!

Your boyfriend/husband can call in sick when he is tired or not feeling well.

*My man works no matter what!!

You don't trust him so you follow him places to see if he is telling the truth.

*I have no choice but to trust him and even then I trust him with my life.

You don't like him talking so sexually with his friends.

*My boyfriend/husband has to chant it in drills.

You check your phone, see you missed a call from him, and decide to call him back when you aren't so busy.

*I see a missed a call and cry, because I don't know when he can call again.

You might save a cute voice message from him.

*I save them all b/c it helps me to remember what his voice sounds like.

Being apart for a month to you seems daunting.

*A month apart for me is a wish that can't come true.

You wouldn't change schools to be close to him.

*I have to move to another country to be with him.

You have every part of him memorized.

*I study pictures so I don't forget what he looks like.

You take your time together for granted.

*We don't!!

Your cell phone bill was high this month from talking too much.

*He pays 20 cents a minute to call me..when he CAN call.

You love that fancy necklace he bought you/

*I refuse to take his dog tags off, and not a day goes by that I dont have them on...

You say you miss him.

*Times that by 20!


I really wish people would understand how hard it is for us girls who love someone in the military. You can't even begin to understand how much it hurts to be away from someone you love. To worry if he's eaten, slept..if he's sick, injured or worse...You also can't understand how amazing it feels to finally be with them. Every meeting feels like the first! And for all those girls out there thinking, "Well it was his choice to join." You are right, it was. But at least he had the balls to join!! And it's guys like him that keep us free and safe while we're at war. It might have been his choice to give up staying at home with the ones he loves, but it's that choice that makes him our hero and gives you the freedom of speech... He is America's hero! So, maybe now, you won't take your time with your man for granted, maybe you'll understand a little more how good you have it, because AT LEAST he is safe and in your arms.

Blah

R&R came and went way to fast. The wedding went great and our time together was amazing. I am missing him so much and its only been 2 weeks since he left again. I think during the 2 weeks he was here we found a whole new view on love. We confirmed nothing will ever come between and we are FOREVER. It hurt so much more this time around. And Cheyenne loves her daddy so much!! <3 Well right we are in the process of trying to find a house. Im needing to move nack to Clarksville now more then ever. I need to be around people who know whats going on. Who understand the situation I am in and just listen when I have to vent instead of criticize and judge me when I have something to say. I just need to feel some type of support. And right now I feel the only place I can get that is from my husband or other army wives. So my next journey will start soon. Back to living my own life with my girls and preparing for his return. Even if its not for 7 more months. I count down the days until we are complete again. My heart is missing and it hurts. But I will stay strong for him. I promise =)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Happy Birthday my beautiful angel! I cannot believe that KayLana is already 6 years old! Where does the time go? Its going by way to fast. And way to slow at the same time. Only 2 more weeks until our family is whole again. Even if it is just for a very short time. Gosh its soooo close. Well today we are gonna make my K bug and have some cake. She wants a flag cake with army men on it. Can you say patriotic? Wonder where she got that from haha. Sometimes it scares me how fast she seems to growing. Cheyenne too! I want nothing but the best for them and I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure they are healthy well behaved respectful young ladies. Kinda like me haha jk. I love my girls!

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Is it June yet?

So May has been the longest month so far this year! Maybe because I am so anxious for June! KayLanas birthday, R&R, Our wedding we are finally gonna have, Hubby's Birthday! Its gonna be an awesome month. If it ever gets here haha. The days of May are starting to drag. I want summer! KayLana graduated from Kindergarten and is ready to start her summer break! Wishing he was here to spend it with us. And for more then 2 weeks. But thats his job. And we support him. Thinking of Taking Cheyenne to get her ears pierced this week. What does daddy think? I cant believe how big she is getting! My 4lb preemie is already 15lbs!!

Yay! One more week of May! Ready for June!

Insomnia

Husband deprived...sleep deprived. Im not sure if i have fallen asleep before 1am since he has left. The obly advice the dr gave me was to start writing. So here I am. Soooo tired but cant get to the point of sleep. I need my husband back. He left to Aghanistan in February. Its only been a little over 3 months. Feels like forever! May has been a really long months and the nights seem to last forever. Cant wait until June! To temporarily be in his arms again. It will be bittersweet. But I will take full of advantage of that little time we have together. And the sleep will be awesome! Night Night